"Don’t pretend you understand me when you don’t."
- Person with Aphasia
I read this quote yesterday from the Aphasia Recovery Connection (aphasiarecoveryconnection.net) and I thought it was wonderful.
When working with people with aphasia, I feel like family members, friends, therapists, often feel like they need to pretend that they know what the person with aphasia is trying to communicate to them. I have found that they are so afraid of making the person frustrated or trying to “just get past it” faster that they think it will be “better for everyone” to just guess or nod and go along.
But flip it around.
If you understood what everyone was saying, but they didn’t understand you, how would you feel to simply get a nod, a polite smile, and then basically, have your message be ignored?
Just typing out the scenario makes me angry so, I think we could all agree that we wouldn’t like it.
When learning to communicate with aphasia after a brain injury, it is part of the journey to work through the tough times and find what works. If you, as a person with aphasia, can’t find the words, what are some in-the-moment strategies you can practice to give your communication partner as much information as possible so they can meet you half way?
Top 5 Aphasia Communication Strategies:
Gesturing: pointing, acting out (not necessarily a play, but an action that you might do with the object you want)
Writing/drawing: Often writing words is just as difficult as trying to say them, but maybe trying to write the first letter or draw (as best you can) the object or a scene representing what you want to say.
Try to sing it: It can often be easier to sing than to just talk. Making up songs for common needs/requests/comments can be helpful for getting them out when it really counts.
Using a communication board: Augmentative Alternative Communication (or AAC) isn’t just fancy computer devices, it can be as simple as a letter board that you can use to spell out or point to the first letter of your message or it might be a phrase indicating a popular utterance. Whatever it is, it just needs to be something that is easy to use for you and easy to understand by both familiar and unfamiliar communication partners (fancy way of saying “the person you’re trying to talk to”).
Asking yes/no questions: Have your communication partner ask you yes/no questions to help you narrow down your message. As a partner, try to ask discerning questions using any information you might already know about what your loved one is trying to tell you (e.g. “Is it something you need from the kitchen?”, “Are you thirsty?”, “Are you trying to talk about something that we did yesterday?”).
I tell my patients and families dealing with aphasia that it is not one person’s job to get out 100% of the message. All communication relies on a give and take between the people involved, that means, help each other out. Not every conversation needs to be a speech therapy - sometimes it’s just about sharing thoughts and ideas with someone you love and trying to find a flowing method of expression that helps bring back some of the connection that you might feel has been lost after a brain injury.
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